Mufos reply to this post and I'll kin assign you a type of oatmeal

@heartles I bestow upon you the high honor of dinosaur egg Quaker oatmeal

@heartles giving justification since I'm doing it for others & don't want you to be left out just cuz I did you first:

the reason is because 1) dino eggs is the closest to slime of oatmeal flavors but 2) because getting to know you has been like the eggs dissolving in the oatmeal to reveal the dinos inside: I knew you were cool before we started interacting as much, but more and more I get to see cool new wonderful parts of you little by little awwwwwwwww julles you're so sweet that's so kind, thank you very much 💚💚💚

@heartles what I'm saying here is just a reflection of the positive feelings and experiences you've blessed me with, you've got no one to thank but yourself 💙

@LaComtesseRouge you're defo sea salt dark chocolate Quaker oats; one of the best and most criminally underrated flavors

@byttyrs I think you very much embody the fruit & cream variety pack because like, how do I say this uhh, everyone contains multitudes but you moreso than anyone make me think "wow, mads is really good at/really insightful in/knows a lot about" the most different things, if that makes sense

like, you'll go from talking about all these wonderful nuanced thoughts about art to homosexuality to deep Skyrim lore and it's consistently impressive but also consistently Mads

@bees 💛💛💛💛💛 and I shit myself constantly, just like the cream component would make me do!

@byttyrs and the fruit part is analogous to how iconically inspiringly and splendidly gay you are

@lapis I'd say you're maple & brown sugar because you're always so sweet, but not in a sugary way in that like, very deep and heartwarming way; brown sugar sweet v.s. white sugar sweet

@bees 😭 thank you bees! That makes me feel so happy (and that happens to be my favorite flavor of oatmeal!)

@HoneyMoon you're EASILY cinnamon & spice

1) orange
2) you just give off cinnamon energy

but much like cinnamon & spice help spice up the drabness of plain oats, you've helped spice up my life by being a part of it, I was actually thinking about this the other day but no one makes me laugh quite like you do, our senses of humour are compatible in a way that mine isn't with truly anyone else, you just get me on a level that I truly appreciate & I love you so much for it Viri 💙💙

@bees 😭 julles you're so sweet omg i love you too, i'm so glad we're friends

@drybonesofficial I'm giving you apples & cranberries because, much like a&c, you're a very very delicious presence & once I got to know you and to build that connection it was fantastic and it's the same for everyone who gets to try you. some people are too intimidated to see what you taste like but that's not your fault, and at the end of the day they're the ones missing out on a very warm soft sweet and comforting flavor of oatmeal

@bees what the heck julles that's so sweet of you. cranberries fucken whip ass too. thank you :sob_skull:

Joke reply, real reply imminently on the way 

@req at least buy an enby a drink first 😳

Joke reply, real reply imminently on the way 

@bees 😏🧃

Joke reply, real reply imminently on the way 

@req 😳😳😳

@req I'm gonna give.tlh raisins & spice because you're just really solid! no matter what kinda mood I'm in, you help fit the bill; you're supportive when it's serious, you yes-and like a motherfucker, you're funny and compassionate, the metaphor is getting a bit lost here but the idea is that your flavor may seem simple, but it has a lot of deep complex notes that I deeply appreciate

@bees aww thank you, it means a lot to me for you to see me like that 😊

@bees also gonna certainly try if I ever put my hands on it :duckface:

@SapphicGiraffic I'm giving you raisin date walnut because you're an Exceptionally solid and supportive flavor, you're hearty and healthy and good while also being sweet and (nutty isn't an adjective but let's pretend that nuts taste like friendship), I also associate this kind of purple-semi-maroon color with you for some reason, not entirely sure why tbqh I just Do

@Aleums this may seem like a boring choice, but to me you're original because that's what you are to me: an original part of my life

This one's gonna be a long thread so buckle up

Aside from family members, Quin, and a small handful of friends from OYP, you're one of my oldest friends PERIOD, but more importantly than that you're the first friend I ever fully naturally made on my own, and I associate you with the start of my Real Life in a lot of ways (1/?)

@Aleums you helped teach me that it's ok to be a dork with dork hobbies, you got me on mastodon which helped me come into my own gender and politics, you and Quin are both in equal measure tied for my best friend in life EVER, and much like original oatmeal you mean a lot of different things to me

You've been there for me when I've needed you most, and some of my best life memories ever are of times spent with you (2/?)

@Aleums you've helped me discover hobbies and music and things about myself, we've had light shenanigans together, we've had deep big brain moments playing magic, you've been there for me and I for you time and time again, spending time with you is always always ALWAYS an amazing time

You make me feel special and listened to and cared for

I often think of those road trips to magic GPs and how fun they were (3/?)

@Aleums you're easy to talk to and even easier to listen to, you're passionate and kind on personal and political levels, you work hard to work on yourself and to welcome others and to make the world a better and more lively place, your music is amazing and I'm so happy to have seen you dive into your passions so much because you fucking KILL it, no matter how long we spend apart I know that the instant I see your face and give you a "hewwo" that I'm home (4/?)

@Aleums there is nothing I could say to express how truly truly truly much I love you and am glad to share in my life with you, how much you enabled and continue to enable me to be my truest authentic self

The only regret I have about moving cities is that I don't get to spend as much time with you or Quin because both of you are like family to me, you're both more like home to me than any physical space can be,.I'm truly grateful to have been blessed with knowing you Sam (5/?)

@Aleums anyways I could easily write a thousand page essay filled with memories I value, lessons you've taught me, things I appreciate about you, but I'll leave it at this

Original oatmeal is the oatmeal with the most potential

You've done, are doing, and will continue to do amazing things

I'm profoundly proud of you, I profoundly love you, and I'm so grateful you invited me to your EDH table that first night of games club

I love you so so much Sam, you're my best friend (6/6)

@bees @Aleums i wasn't ready for an oatmeal kin assignment to bring tears to my eyes this morning but wow

@rosetree I'm giving you cranberry almond!

As already established in oatlore, nuts are the flavor of friendship, and I truly think you embody the qualities of friendship in your day to day, your patience and kindness are heartwarming, but you're not afraid to step in and do what's right when it's time for that

I've known you for a while and we've always kept up between instance changes and such, which is like cranberries because uh, yeah

Also cranberries feel rose adjacent to me

@bees I agree strongly that cranberries are like secret roses ❤️

I've been mostly withdrawn from mastodon & online life for the last long while, and you're one of the main people I've met here that really make me regret that. you're an amazing beautiful person with a strong conscience & a great big heart, and even when I'm not around I'm always psychically sending you affection and warm wishes :)

@rosetree it sounds like taking that time for yourself did some good and was important for you, and even tho I missed seeing you as much I'm glad you took those steps to take care of yourself 💙

also thank you 🥺🥺🥺 that's so kind of you to say 😭😭😭 it truly means so much to me that I'm doing an ok job at being as good and kind as I can be

@omni I'm gonna give you banana and maple because I find you just toooo sweet!!

but also, referencing earlier logic, your sweetness is very genuine and soft, it isn't artificial or too much, but you ALSO can reach that point of being very sweet in a way that makes the people around you melt, and the banana kinda represents the second dose of sweetness

Also the label is orange enough that it feels like an Ommi domain of color

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