one more day b4 gender therapy appt

gonna get my gender therapied

def weird to be in/entering the mindspace of “holy shit i am not femme”. i’ve def felt a compulsion to ID as femme bcs that’s how others have ID’d me, but now on the eve of starting my medical transition i’m realizing how little i ID w femme identity. dyke, butch, fag identity, YES! but not femme.

a reminder: don’t ID other ppl, don’t use language that ppl don’t give u explicit permission to. that shit is coercive and uncomfortable. be cool, ask how ppl want to be described.

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this is hella prevalent in nonbinary/genderqueer spaces. don’t call someone an enby, or ftm, or mtf, or masc, fem, andro, etc. without their permission. y’all get too close to the woman-lite, man-lite binary shit sometimes and we need to do better.

nonbinary is an umbrella.

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@bee hmm this is also a good reminder to me that "enby" is kind of its own thing and not an abbreviation for "non-binary"

@callie ya some ppl def don’t like the term, it’s good to be aware of how it makes ppl feel.

@bee Can I ask how enby fits into this?

I mean true, don't ever refer to someone as anything without their permission, but i dont see how "enby" fits into the "binary lite" pattern

@ijyx it’s moreso an example of language that’s commonly used for nonbinary ppl w/o asking- enby can make folks uncomfortable bcs it sounds diminutive- just like how not everyone would feel good if you called them a girl/boy instead of woman/man, it’s important to recognize that not everyone is going to feel affirmed by enby.

this is less relevant in the case of non-specific posts like: “enbies are so great”, and moreso for cases of person-specific replies: “wow, you’re such a cute enby!”

@bee ooh ive never considered that enby could be taken as diminutive

thank you!

Isn't enby just short for non-binary?

That's how I use it in reference to others and myself.


@Horus someone else asked a similar question in this thread- see that reply! :)

Thanks! I think maybe threads aren't showing up the same way for me...or maybe they have certain privacy settings?
I'll poke around for it 👍🏾

body words, sorry to project my experiences onto you 

@bee ahhhh the pressure to just lean into being femme when u have a chubby curvy body is ridiculous and part of why I went back into the closet until I got a reduction. I am just now unpacking why I went so hard into corset goth territory. it ain't me. I am a lazy goblin. but nobody lets big tiddy nonbinaries rest jfc

i love you im proud of you destroy that gender babe

body words, sorry to project my experiences onto you 

@glitterwitch 👍 it’s so real. just another barrier we need to destroy: the fatphobia is strong in the gnc community

body words, sorry to project my experiences onto you 

@bee 👏

@bee I am as guilty of this as anyone, and I wonder how much damage I did in my younger days of getting clever with terminology when describing friends to themselves. Anyway, I'm glad you're getting the help you need, and finding your truth.

@MoMartin hey, we’re all learning together. i used to be guilty of this as well

@bee Yeah, I'm not beating myself up any more than usual

@bee good wishes for you and your emotional support genders tomorrow

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